Just Be…

I’m not a very emotional person. (I don’t think people should be afraid to show emotions, just how I am).  About a week ago though, I was laying in bed ugly crying about having 2 kids in school this year.  Yes, it was an ugly cry, nothing cute about it.  There was nose blowing, blubbering, excessive talking, etc.  The husband’s natural response was “you’re always emotional when your sick.” God bless him. 😜 (I did have sinus stuff going on at the time).

Since I’ve become a parent, I have tried to be intentional in soaking up as many moments as I can with my kids: spending 10 more minutes playing with them instead of putting on makeup, getting down on the floor and playing Legos instead of cleaning the bathroom, listening to Crazy T discuss Marvel characters that I do not understand in the least.

I just never wanted to be someone who sat around wishing I had spent more time with my children while they were home.  That’s not to say some times they aren’t refused because I have things I need to get done.  I also don’t want them to have the false idea that the world revolves around them.  (It’s a tough balance y’all).

As mindful as I was of this one area of parenting, not enough emphasis was placed on how fleeting time is.

My second born is about to start Kindergarten.  This little lady has been my sidekick from the day she was born.  She never took a bottle, which led to her momma exclusively feeding her and getting up in the night with her.  She played with my hair as she fell asleep, still does on occasion. (Small blessings).  She only wanted me when she used to get embarrassed or hurt.  Now she’s about to spend 7 hours of the day without me. (Don’t even get me started on that almost 8 year old little man-child that is leading my pack).

While crying, I said to the husband, “what if she needs me and I’m not there?” His response, “she needs to learn it’s not possible for you to always be there.” (‘Scuse me? Do you know me at all?)

But alas, I know when to accept defeat.  I have encouraged my children to be independent, confident, and self-assured people.  I’m not raising them to appease or entertain me.   I want them to not need me some day.  (With them knowing, the second they call I’ll be there).  I just didn’t realize the havoc it would bestow on my emotions.

In all this, I want to encourage you mommas, to enjoy each moment.  Savor the moment.  Try to “just be.”  Be there to play.  Be there to encourage.  Be there on the sidelines cheering them on.  Sometimes just “be” emotional, because  it exciting, beautiful, and heartbreaking to watch them grow up.

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