When I wake up, well, I know I’m gonna be…

“Living radical isn’t about where you live; it’s about how you love. How you love the beauty of Him, how you love His beautiful people. It’s about realizing: Real life, large love, doesn’t happen when you arrive in a certain place. It happens when your heart arrives in a certain place. Wherever you are, right where you are…” -Ann Voskamp

Yesterday I turned 31 years old. 31 years. 11,315 days. Last night, I reflected on what my 31 years has looked like. I’m not able to remember much of my childhood. The details I do have, I love to recall. I remember “laying out” in the sun with my older sister. We would put out a blanket, rub baby oil on us, and listen to music. I recall my little sister and I playing “store” or “house” almost daily. My mom always did well to encourage me and my sisters friendships. All of my best memories include them.

Then I started thinking about my life as an adult. I feel like I’ve been super busy since I turned 18, but my reach hasn’t been far beyond the walls of my home. I married young, started having kids young, adopted, and now started foster care. Can I tell you, I am (mostly) perfectly content with that?

I think we can sometimes get so caught up in being recognized by a lot of people, or trying to reach the widest span of people possible. Those thoughts aren’t necessarily bad, but if they are our focus, they often leave us feeling depleted and ineffective. I have an “achiever” mentality. I love checking off boxes. I love accomplishing a task.

One of my main tasks is something that will probably never be able to be “checked off.” I don’t think I will ever feel like I’ve “accomplished” my task of mothering. There has been much growing (and failing) to learn to be okay with that. I’ve started to realize, just being there, in the moment is enough.

I am not meant to do it all. God will meet me right where I am. He takes my meager offering of the time and talents I do have, and He uses them in the ways He sees fit. My reflect left me feeling blessed. I hope to get another 31 years of doing just the same. (Minus the baby oil for sun tanning. 😜)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s