I hate surprises. If anyone ever tells me they have a gift for me, I will unashamedly, hound them until they tell me or give it to me. I read the end of a book if I’m too anxious about it, but I will still go back and read the rest- I just cannot take not knowing.
I hate when things don’t end the way I want them to. A bad ending of a book or movie can ruin the entire thing for me. I.need.a.resolution. Yes, I stopped watching Vampire Diaries when Elena went with the guy I didn’t want her to. (Also, does that reveal too much of my age?)
Isn’t that the funny thing about life though? It rarely ends the way we plan and it is full of surprises. How does a person with my disposition adapt to the fact life isn’t meant to be catered to me?
I’ve learned over time that the best things have come from surprises in life. Sometimes I’ve got what I needed because I didn’t get what I wanted. I’m not sure being a young mom was ever part of my plan, but couldn’t imagine my life any other way. It wasn’t my plan to never teach full time, but I’ve been able to see every one of my kid’s big milestones. That is something I’ll never regret.
If there is anything these past months have shown us, I think it’s that we can’t plan the future. We can’t object to surprises. Right now, I hope we find things are better than we had hoped for. I hope we come out more loving, grace-filled, and stronger. I hope the ending of Covid and all that entails ends even better than we can imagine.
In the meantime, I’ll be over here, reading book endings and bullying anyone who has a surprise into telling me what it is. (Hey, I’m comfortable with my faults). Control what you can. Let go of what you can’t. Always find the silver linings.