Suffering with others

I went through a hard time a few years ago. It was about a year after the failed attempt to adopt our daughter’s sister. I think it took a year to realize she probably wasn’t going to end up with us. Losing hope like that is heartbreaking. I found myself being discontent with life, the way my life is. Should I be more than just a mom? Did the hubs really appreciate me? Am I ever going to fit in with my family and friends?

This led me to act different with others. I wasn’t calling to God as I once did. I wasn’t reaching into His Word when I needed answers. I knew I was angry with the situation, but I wanted to mull in that for a little bit. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to live in the disappointment I felt for a little bit.

One of the most surprising things, was that throughout my struggles, some of my Christian friends were the ones who didn’t have patience for my struggle. They were ones that just kept their distance, and I guess waited to see if it would pass or not.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that feelings are not always truth. God made us human. He gave us feelings. We see that Jesus felt things while He was here. (Weeping when Lazarus died). We must not be afraid to feel, but we must also reflect on those feelings in light of what we know to be true.

I did have a friend (and many others), but one sticks out, that just tried to love me during that. Yes, she is a Christian so this is by no means a bash on Christians. But she met me where I was. She asked me what was going on. I knew she was praying for me and she was sharing truths we both depended on. She also wasn’t afraid to sit with me in the pit for a little bit. This made all the difference in the world in my seeing the goodness of God in the midst of my struggle. That’s why we’re here anyway: to spread the love, truth, and wisdom of God.

I fear this is something we forget far too often nowadays. You can log on to any social media platform today and within minutes see people attacking others. We have so many opinions out there anymore it’s easy to get caught up in it. I’ve found myself in it a time or twenty.

We are told to love one another, bear with one another, be patient with one another, serve one another, teach one another, comfort one another, encourage one another, and the list goes on. We cannot do that when we are caught up in our own self righteousness.

In order to do any of those tasks we must humble ourselves. I realize it’s not always easy to walk alongside others during certain events in life. I get it. I don’t know of many other ways that show the love of God more than suffering beside and for others. After all, that’s what Jesus did for us.

May we start from a place of humility before we approach others who are struggling, or even those who are joyful. May we remember that we are reminded in Romans 12 to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

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