Can Sickness Be A Blessing?

My youngest daughter, who is now 6, has struggled with asthma her entire life. We’ve been to several specialists. She has been tested for so many things. We don’t have any certain answers for what triggers it, or how to keep it from coming, but we do know how to kick up which medicines when her asthma flares up.

The last couple of days she has been coughing a lot (which is usually the first sign it’s about to start bothering her). So we have began our additional medicines on top of her daily ones and doing breathing treatments until her breathing seems better.

Now that she is older she vocalizes how tired she is of being sick, how annoyed she is that she has to stop whatever she is doing every few hours to sit and do a 30 minute breathing treatment. Thirty minutes is an eternity to a 6 year old. As soon as she woke up this morning, I got her machine ready and told her she could lay in bed while she did it.

Once her treatment was completed, she came out to the living room and stated “WHEN I’M IN HEAVEN I WON’T EVER BE SICK ANYMORE!” This declaration stopped me in my tracks.

The last couple of days have been stressful in our home: lack of time, cars breaking down, a million things needing done, etc. But there will come a day where we don’t have to be stressed any more. There will come a day we won’t experience sickness anymore. (It never was God’s original plan for us to experience it any way). This is all temporary.

Knowing this is all temporary leads to hope. Hope gives us joy. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer”.

ALL is Made For His Glory-Including Myself

We’re told all the time what makes someone beautiful, or what doesn’t. We buy magazines telling us how we should dress, tricks to get abs fast, the most stylish haircuts, and the list could go on.

On the reverse of that, now with social media, I see a trend that calls for us to show all the things we don’t like about ourselves or point out all our flaws so people feel better about theirs.

For the most part I’m comfortable with who I am. I’ve never felt like I’m perfect, actually never felt the need to achieve that. But as always, at the beginning of swimsuit season I find myself comparing myself to others. I’ve always had a bigger bottom half. Most of the time I love it, some times it gives me good jokes, but occasionally I catch myself yearning for what some one else has.

I don’t believe the answer to this is looking more inwardly at myself, or going to extremes to change myself. I believe God makes us, in our mother’s womb, all different to show His glory. The problem with focusing on myself is the fact that my feelings change. When I’m exercising I love how strong my legs are. When I see other women with space between their jean shorts and legs I’m not as fond of them.

How boring would life be if we all looked the same? Beholding the beauty of something new for the first time is an amazing thing. I will always remember the first time I saw the ocean or a mountain, or even my babies faces. God purposely made everything and one different-and His feelings on the subject never change. He is who He is all the time. So when I’m doubting myself, I remember He didn’t make a mistake when He made each one of us. When faced with feelings of doubt, we need to reorient ourselves to His truth, not our own.

That’s Life and I Can’t Deny It

When we first moved to our house, the hubs wanted to cut down all the trees and bushes surrounding our creek and pond. I convinced him otherwise, because how would my bird friends come to visit me if they had no where to stay? (Yes, I’m 80).

This morning I was feeling overwhelmed so I went out to feel the sun peeking behind the clouds and watch the different birds flying between all the branches. Then I was struck by the dirt mound to my left.

Last week we had to bury our cat, Ashley. She was hit by a car in front of our house. (I’m going to have a rant about driving the speed limit and actually stopping when you hit an animal another time). We buried her before the kids got home from school, but our girls were hysterical nonetheless.

There are a few moments of the kids crying that are burned into my mind: them crying and saying goodbye to K’s little sister (when we attempted to adopt her), my oldest son crying on the first day of school (because it takes a lot to get him emotional), and how sad my girls were when we told them about Ashley.

I want to protect them from every pain possible. But I know that it is impossible. I also believe there is pain with purpose. I told the girls to mourn Ashley. I told T and C the same when we said goodbye to K’s sister. It is good that they learn to love things and people without conditions.

I think it’s realizing this chasm in life that you start to understand it, even just a little bit. There are and will be beautiful moments throughout your life, but there will also be pain. Let them change you and cause you to grow.

Occasionally sit in the remembrance of it. Knowing it’s all a part of your story, and it can all work for good.

We’re All A Little Different

“There’s not very many black people in the world”. I was sitting out in the back yard with my youngest daughter, who is black. I looked over at her, taken aback, and said “there may not be in this town, but there are a lot of black people in the world”. We live in a small town in the Midwest. It’s safe to say it’s not very diverse.

This is something I have always been conscious of. I knew when we adopted her it was going to take a lot of intentionality to make sure she felt well represented and not separate from other people around her. One of her brothers is adopted as well and is a different race from us also, which does help some.

We read every night before bed, and last night we read a book that was based in Africa. At the end of the book, it showed real pictures of African kids and families together. Guess what? One white person was in those pictures. I told my daughter that if we went and visited there I would be the one who stood out.

My husband and I also told her how we all more than likely came from some other country in our family history. That it just depends on which part of the world you’re in, as to what race the people will be.

I hate that she has moments of questioning her value. I can’t tell you the nights I’ve spent awake worrying about this. But I also know, her skin color isn’t her entire story. I will always do everything in my power to gain knowledge to help with the racial differences , I will show her unconditional love, and she will know in this family she always belongs.

But more than where she is now, I care where she’s going to be for eternity. This is the basis on which we live. We all feel like we don’t belong sometimes in this world. While my daughter’s are more visual, which causes more direct conversation about it, every one deals with it some times.

Her struggles won’t look the same as my struggles throughout life, but she belongs in this family. Because the family we will end up in eternally will be filled to the brim with different races, yet we will all be one family. For eternity, we will see and celebrate the differences in each other. I can’t wait for the day.

Emotions Are Trainable

I always tell my kids “you are in charge of your actions no matter how you feel”. From an early age, I wanted my kids to recognize that they have the ability to control their emotions, not the other way around. I always acknowledge their feelings and that the feelings are real, but that they are able (were legitimately born with the ability) to control them.

I fear we, as a society, have forgotten this as of late. I don’t agree with the idea of not discussing feelings. But when we put too much emphasis on the feelings themselves we fail to acknowledge that it is within our power to control them.

I used to play the clarinet. It was appropriate to tune the instrument and to move your fingers in certain ways in order to achieve the desired sound you wanted to come out of it. Much like my old clarinet; our emotions are things that we tune to appropriate responses to certain objects.

When we find our emotions heightened, we focus on the object that is producing that certain emotion. The focus of the situation should not be the emotion itself but the object causing that emotion. We, as human beings, have been born with the ability to control, and when appropriate, even train our emotions to respond appropriately to certain situations.

C.S. Lewis stated in “Abolition of Man” that “no emotion is, in itself, a judgment; in that sense all emotions and sentiments are alogical. But they can be reasonable or unreasonable as they conform to Reason or fail to conform. The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it”.

Proverbs 14:29 states that “whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly”. Folly is defined as a lack of sense, foolishness. Apparently understanding and knowledge leads to the ability to control emotions. A person who is quick to anger lacks sense.

I also feel it would be remiss to not mention that not all feelings are truth. Yes, once again, it is true that you may feel them, but because you are feeling them doesn’t mean they are true. Want proof of this? Come visit me towards the beginning of every month when that lovely lady friend is here for her monthly visit.

We are often stronger than we believe, and one of the strengths we contain is the ability to control our emotions.

He Pays Attention to the Details

Tonight while sitting at the dinner table, I asked the kids what are some ways they saw God at work today. Now, don’t start clapping; I don’t always remember these “all important questions”. I do try to do it when time allows/ when my mind isn’t too fogged to have moments of great questioning.

I said I was happy for the beautiful day God gave us today. The hubs did when he was able to help one of our friends in another town by us today. Number 2 child said she was happy for the weather as well. Number 3 said she saw God because she loved the breeze. The first born said he saw God because he won a poster from a drawing at the school book fair.

I know we don’t think those things are big enough to thank God for, like God doesn’t care about those minuscule parts of life. The poster is a funny story though. We gave each of our kids $20 for the book fair. The youngest told me what she wanted and I wrote it down for the teacher. The older two were told “this is how much you have, pick what you want”. My first born already had his eyes on a couple books (and he loves to read), so they won out against a LeBron James poster he wanted. We even sent him with extra money to school today for something else he needed in another class. He teased this morning how mean it was to give more money and him still not be able to get the poster. Then he brought home a poster today because he had won it in a school drawing.

Tonight we talked about how God would be good with or without giving us material things we want. But how amazing is it that God pays enough attention to the details that He will sometimes give us fulfilled desires, just because of His grace. Because He is a loving Father.

He gives us these little moments to help us see His goodness and love, as a gift. When we are in a situation or a time period of life where it may seem hard to believe God is paying attention, you can recall moments like this. Not because you need them to believe He is good. Not because He has to. Not because the material things matter one iota, but because the grace He gives us in life comes in many different forms.

And I’m grateful for it.

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You

I think one of the most dangerous mindsets is the one that thinks everyone has to approve or agree of all your life choices. Your value shouldn’t come from what I think of you. My value or justification of my choices shouldn’t come from you. I’ve always said at the end of the day if you have peace with your truth (however you judge that) and yourself, that’s all that matters.

Personal story: When we started the adoption process for our first adoption, we specified race on our paperwork. Not because of us, but because I was worried about the adopted child being loved differently from others around us. I literally lost sleep over it because I didn’t have peace about it. I would stay up late and search through the Bible (my gauge of truth). I couldn’t find any truth to justify it, even if others didn’t agree. So we changed it.

Many people didn’t understand our wanting to adopt in the first place. Some family members were downright upset that we started the foster process after. (Not all, many were supportive). But I had one person literally say, “are you kidding me?” to my face. We’re they uncomfortable conversations? Yep. Was I upset? Yep.

But at the end of the day I knew I wouldn’t have peace if I didn’t live the Truth. Not everyone is going to like everything you do. Not everyone likes everything I do. It’s just not feasible in life. But I also don’t have to agree with your every choice to like you. If you feel the need to tear down those who oppose you, you are no better than them.

If you know what you’re doing is right, you don’t need justification from others. If you feel you need others to tell you that you’re right in order to believe it, maybe you need to examine why.

One True Love Story

Valentine’s Day is this coming weekend. The kids have been talking about their parties and we’ve been buying classroom Valentines. The kids’ memory verse this week is actually 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us”. This week has found me thinking about the word “love” a lot.

Someone once told me that “love” is a gift that God gives to all people, as in all people can experience true love. I didn’t find reason to question this theory at first. It’s a nice thought, actually. I want to think (and we often do think) that love is limitless.

A few years ago, however; I found myself questioning the theology pertaining to this thought. 1 John 4 also tells us that “God is love”. I don’t believe you can experience love as it’s truly meant to be, apart from knowing God’s love.

Love while here on this earth is still a flawed love. Every thing on this earth is tainted by sin. Knowing God, we know the one true example of a completely self-less, living-for-others kind of love. Without that example guiding us, we will fail to understand the full capacity of what love is capable of.

I have many people in my life that I love and will do most anything for, but I know at times that love can even be selfish, proud, and feeble. There has only been one perfect example of love- and I am happy to celebrate that love every day of the year. But I don’t mind a special day to accept extra chocolates and roses. 😉

Thoughts Running

Tonight’s run was therapy and it did it’s job. It’s funny that I love my body more now (even though it’s not what it once was) than I did when I was younger. I exercise because I am (was) an athlete. I don’t feel good when I’m not moving. It’s no longer a punishment, I’m not stressing to fit in a certain amount of exercises into a week, no longer checking my abs in the mirror every time I finish a workout. (Stop judging me, okay?)

I think this mindset has changed because I’ve learned to hold more loosely to things in this world: including my body/body image. Matthew 6:19-21 discusses laying up treasures where they can’t be destroyed (heaven). Because where your treasure is, there your heart will be.

We generally read that and think money or material items, but God is not something we are supposed to compartmentalize. His truths and wisdom effect every area of our lives. I want to steward my body well, while knowing that it doesn’t guarantee I won’t ever face any health crisis or that my body won’t change. (Gravity, y’all).

We need to stop expecting of our bodies what they were never made to do: remain ageless.

I’m a Christian and I am Happy in 2021

There is a place for Christian mourning with the state of affairs in the US today. It is sad to see the hypocrisy, hatred, and lack of looking to something outside ourselves. We, rightly, should mourn the moments of heartbreak we may feel day to day.

What a Christian should not do, is worry about the situation. When we question the times we are living in, we question the sovereignty of God. We know that only He knows what tomorrow holds. That was true 100 years ago, and that is true now. The hymn comes to mind “Many things about tomorrow I don’t seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand”. Only God controls tomorrow, even in 2021. He is not shrieking in surprise every time something happens. None of it surprises him.

We should not be full of worry or pessimism because we know this isn’t where our story ends! This world was never what we were living for any way. Absolutely every thing in this world will cease to exist some day. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live”. –Romans 8:13

God’s Word is relevant today. There is no situation in life, even today, that His Word is not applicable to. We must also be careful to not romanticize the past. From the beginning, there has been sin. I always joke that I think the world is horrible, then I read the Old Testament. We need to not shrink back in fear, but stand firm because we are the ones that have an unchanging, joyful future promised to us.

“…in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us”. Romans 8: 37