If not, I don’t want it.

I’m not a patient person. I have never been patient. I would say that I probably never will be, but I know God transforms whatever He will so maybe some day I won’t be quite so impatient.

For being an impatient person, I have found myself waiting for important things a lot in the past 3-4 years. I remember anxiously awaiting the call that KB was going to be born. For a good month, my heart sunk to my feet every time my phone rang. Then we went through the same situation while waiting for KB’s little sister.

Now, we are waiting to welcome a child into our home again- waiting for the ring of the phone again. Every.Single.Time. I think “Oh this is going to happen fast. I’m not going to wait at all.” (I’m nothing if not persistent 😜). But alas, here we are, waiting.

I was telling Tyler last night that I’ve been praying “If it’s not your will, I don’t want it.” (Meaning, If today is not your day for us, help me not to want it to be today). Let me say, I want it YESTERDAY. I am praying for my heart to be changed while waiting. We can’t control our situations or the time span in which things occur, but we can control how we wait or how we live.

Tyler is fine waiting until after Christmas to welcome a child into our home. It’s a crazy busy Christmas season. #amiright? I know logically it would be best for our lives if it were after Christmas, I just don’t want to wait for “after Christmas” to get here.

It’s important that we wait well. God doesn’t care so much about changing our circumstances as he care about changing our hearts. Do I believe all things work to the good of those that love Him? Yes. Do I believe God has my ultimate good and His ultimate glory in mind? Yes. Those are the truths I must rest on.

Don’t be disheartened if you still find areas of life that you still struggle with. God will meet you right where you are. Thankfully, if you’re looking to Him, He won’t leave you where you are.

Christmas Reading Plan

Christmas Reading Plan (As I said in an earlier post, this is not an extensive Christmas reading plan.  I wanted something that every person would be able to do no matter the busyness of their season.)

If you have cross references in your Bible I HIGHLY encourage you to use those for further reference as well.

December 6th- Luke 1:26-27

December 7th- Luke 1:28-29

December 8th- Luke 1:30-31

December 9th- Luke 1:32-33

December 10th- Luke 1:34-35

December 11th- Luke 1:36-37

December 12th- Luke 1:38 (Read verses 39-45 to read about Mary’s visit to Elizabeth)

December 13th- The Magnificat Luke 1:46-50

December 14th- The Magnificat Luke 1:51-55

December 15th- Luke 2:1-2

December 16th- Luke 2:3-4

December 17th- Luke 2:5-7

December 18th- Luke 2:9-10

December 19th- Luke 2:11

December 20th- Luke 2:12

December 21st- Luke 2:13

December 22nd- Luke 2:14-15

December 23rd- Luke 2:16-17

December 24th- Luke 2:18-19

December 25th- Luke 2:20

I just want to add one last verse from Isaiah.  A lot of times, we make the mistake of discounting the Old Testament as “old news.”  I really want to emphasis to you guys that the Bible is one book that tells one story throughout the ENTIRE book.  

“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder.  And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace There will be no end, Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom, To order i and establish it with judgment and justice from that time forward, even forever.  The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.” Isaiah 9:6-7

Waiting Well

This is one last thought I wanted to share before sending out the Christmas reading plan tomorrow! Be encouraged as you “wait well.”

Since we know that we are living in the “already, but not yet” it is important that we wait well.  We know there will come a day that God will come and make all things new. There will be no more pain, sorrow, crying, death, or mourning.  We will experience communion with God, in the PRESENCE of God.

This doesn’t mean that there is not a correct way to live in the meantime.  Quite the contrary, SINCE we know there will be a day that God will come and make all things new.  We should live with a sense of urgency. Every single person we come in contact with is going to spend eternity somewhere.  Psalm 90:12 tells us “…to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”  We need to learn to number our days, because we know this life is short in comparison to eternity.  

In order to make the best use of the days we have here, we need to get a heart of wisdom.  Where does our wisdom come from? I’m glad you asked. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

God gives wisdom generously to any of those who ask wisdom of Him.  This wisdom is not like our earthly wisdom. This is a wisdom that passes our understanding.  This well of wisdom never runs dry. It may be uncomfortable sometimes. It may not be what we want in the moment, but God always has our good and His glory in mind.  That is wisdom that will last forever.

Already, But Not Yet

The next few days, I will be sharing a few blogs.  I wrote out a very short (can’t even call it an Advent reading plan) for the ladies in the church I serve at.  It is not meant to be an extensive study, but rather help us to be in the Bible a little every day to practice keeping our focus on Jesus during the Christmas season.

As we begin our reading plan for the Christmas season, I want us to think about the time period we live in.  We live in the “already, but not yet.” Jesus has already been born, he died, and he rose again after death. This also translates to say, we have been saved by grace through faith by Jesus’s sacrifice.  We are now able to commune with God through the Holy Spirit.

“Not yet” means we are still waiting for God to come back and make a New Heaven and New Earth.  When this day comes, we will experience the earth as God originally intended it. We will be heirs with God on this new earth.  We see the effects of living in the “already, but not yet” daily.

Examples of “already”- peace and hope to deal with difficult circumstances (through the Holy Spirit.)

Examples of “not yet”- school shootings (Satan is currently the prince and power of this world.  Such evil will not be seen once God has put everything back the way he originally intended.)

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying.  There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”

Romans 21:4-5

Firmly Fixed

We live in a different time than a lot of generations before us. Of course, I say that, and yet the more I read of history, the more I find it repeats itself. Not only that, there has been evil or “lost” in this world since the beginning of time. Maybe it’s not new, just new to us.

A lot of us take up a defensive stance on The Bible because of the time period we live in. Now listen to what I’m saying with this, we act as though WE have to protect God’s Word from being tainted by the world. Yes, we should hold God’s Word as the absolute authority and truth in life. We can’t change what the Bible says when it makes us uncomfortable or it makes our lives inconvenient. We must take the entire Bible as truth and not pick and choose what we like. (Either it’s true or it’s not).

God is not surprised by the state of the world today. God’s Word is relevant in any time period. It is here to save people today just as it was 50 or 100 years ago. We often act like it is something we must guard from the “unclean” or those we deem “unworthy” by our standards, or what we believe to be “Christian” standards.

Something that has struck me when reading about Jesus’s walk here on the earth is that he repeatedly says “I came to save, not to judge.” When Jesus came in the form of man, he came to save and redeem the lost. That is what the Word is still left here to do today. God’s Word has continued to go into the world DESPITE of our shortcomings, failures, and betrayals.

I finished reading Katie Davis’s new book Daring to Hope yesterday. She is a woman who left her life in the U.S. after going on a Mission Trip. She moved permanently to Uganda and adopted 13 girls from an orphanage. She still lives there and tries to minister and serve others in her day to day life. She talks about a situation where a mom who attended their weekly Bible Studies, showed up intoxicated after a long time period of being clean. Rather than kicking the woman out in an effort to preserve their Bible Study, she approached the woman. She asked her questions: Where her daughter was, what happened, etc. She was broken for this woman. She didn’t live in defense but met this woman where she was, and tried to figure out how to use the Gospel to help save her.

She lives in a land where poverty and extreme conditions abound. We don’t see much of what she does in our day to day life, but the same Word of God is here that she uses in Uganda. Don’t fret friends. Don’t hold back. “Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens. Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast.” Psalm 119:89-90

Thanksgiving Hangover

Here I sit, typing at our new laptop that we purchased last night for our big Black Friday (Black Thursday?) gift to ourselves.  We have been without a laptop for about two years, thanks to the gift of kids.  The laptop would come and go so we would hold out and hope for a good day any time we absolutely needed to use the computer.  (See: cheap.)   Alas, we finally surrendered to the inevitable fact that we needed a new one.  The hubs will complain nonstop about how appalled he is that Black Friday actually begins on Thursday nowadays.  He is not one to pass up a good deal though, so Black Friday shopping last night is where we found ourselves.  Of course, we never turn away from a challenge so we went with our hooligans in tow, plus our niece.  We were in.  We were out.  We made it out alive and in time to watch our recorded episode of This Is Us.

On to my real reason for the blog today: since August we have been doing a study of gratitude in our monthly ladies bible study.  I love Thanksgiving.  I feel that it’s a more relaxed holiday.   You aren’t stressing about gift purchasing, making sure you got everything equal for everyone, trying to figure out where all the money is going to come from, trying to figure out where all the money went, etc.  I loved randomly getting online yesterday and seeing every one slow down and just enjoy some time with friends and/or family.  Some people take to playing together outside, some take a nap, some go shopping together.  The important thing isn’t necessarily what you’re doing, just that you’re doing it with those you care about.

Okay, now REALLY to my main point.  Gratitude shouldn’t be something we exhibit just one a day in the year.  (And some of us have trouble doing it just that one day as it is.)  Gratitude should be the state of our heart.  I’m going to go out in a limb and say a lot of our struggles begin with a little bout of ingratitude.  When we become so focused on what others are doing, what they have, how they look, how much money they make, we aren’t taking the time to be grateful for what we have been blessed with.  When caught in the trap of constantly comparing or wanting more, it’s almost impossible to be grateful for what is in front of you.

Friends, this isn’t new.  Genesis 3 tells us of a man and woman who had everything supplied to them.  They were leaving in a seemingly perfect and idyllic place.  They were living in a place of absolutely beauty and contentment.  God had told them they could eat of all trees in the garden but one.  Naturally, they wanted that one tree that they were told not to eat from.  Rather than being grateful for all they had been given, they were discontent because they wanted the one they were told they could not have.  Ingratitude led to the original sin.  This ingratitude led to the fall of mankind.

Ingratitude and ungratefulness are mentioned several times throughout the Bible.  Repetition in the Bible is kind of like God’s exclamation marks.  It shows us that it is important to God.  If it’s important to God, of course, it should be important to us.  I hope you enjoyed the time you had to slow down with those you love.  I also hope the act of being grateful is something you do more than just one day a year.  I also want to suggest if you have trouble thinking of things to be grateful for off the top of your head (we all go through hard seasons), start writing a few things down a day.  It’s amazing the change of attitude or mindset that occurs when we are intentional in our thinking.

Mary Mohler says it best in her book Growing In Gratitude: “We are to be like a fountain that is continually filled to overflowing.  We are not only to exhibit gratitude but we are to overflow with it, such that it spills out into all that we do.”


When I wake up, well, I know I’m gonna be…

“Living radical isn’t about where you live; it’s about how you love. How you love the beauty of Him, how you love His beautiful people. It’s about realizing: Real life, large love, doesn’t happen when you arrive in a certain place. It happens when your heart arrives in a certain place. Wherever you are, right where you are…” -Ann Voskamp

Yesterday I turned 31 years old. 31 years. 11,315 days. Last night, I reflected on what my 31 years has looked like. I’m not able to remember much of my childhood. The details I do have, I love to recall. I remember “laying out” in the sun with my older sister. We would put out a blanket, rub baby oil on us, and listen to music. I recall my little sister and I playing “store” or “house” almost daily. My mom always did well to encourage me and my sisters friendships. All of my best memories include them.

Then I started thinking about my life as an adult. I feel like I’ve been super busy since I turned 18, but my reach hasn’t been far beyond the walls of my home. I married young, started having kids young, adopted, and now started foster care. Can I tell you, I am (mostly) perfectly content with that?

I think we can sometimes get so caught up in being recognized by a lot of people, or trying to reach the widest span of people possible. Those thoughts aren’t necessarily bad, but if they are our focus, they often leave us feeling depleted and ineffective. I have an “achiever” mentality. I love checking off boxes. I love accomplishing a task.

One of my main tasks is something that will probably never be able to be “checked off.” I don’t think I will ever feel like I’ve “accomplished” my task of mothering. There has been much growing (and failing) to learn to be okay with that. I’ve started to realize, just being there, in the moment is enough.

I am not meant to do it all. God will meet me right where I am. He takes my meager offering of the time and talents I do have, and He uses them in the ways He sees fit. My reflect left me feeling blessed. I hope to get another 31 years of doing just the same. (Minus the baby oil for sun tanning. 😜)