The year we didn’t ask for…

I love stories. I remember one of the first children’s books I fell in love with, The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister. The shiny scales captivated me. I remember the sadness I felt the first time I read Mick Harte Was Here by Barbara Park.

My fascination with stories has continued well throughout my life, but expands further than just books. I collect antiques because I love picturing the person who once owned the piece before me. I like imagining how they might have decorated with that item. I put stickers on my vehicle from where we visit because I like looking at the locations on the stickers and remembering the trip and stories that go alone with it.

I recently read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. In that book, Alexander goes through all the bad things that have happened to him throughout the day. He wakes up with gum in his hair. He found out he had a cavity. He falls in mud. His brother calls him a cry baby, along with many other wrongs in that particular day. The book ends with saying “mom says some days are like that”.

Well guys, this is our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (year). It seems as though things have been piled on one right after the other. We adjust to one thing and a new situation appears. Things have been piling up one right after another.

We can focus on all the things going wrong or we can accept the fact that, in life, there will be times like this. Generations before us have faced difficulties in life. Some have faced problems that affect a big population and others have faced personal problems in life, ones that others may not know about.

Our reactions to these situations can make all the difference. This is a difficult part to our story or life, but we get to choose how it ends. The statement “mom says some days are like that” changed the entire tone of the book. It went from a story of hopelessness to one that is hopeful.

I hope where ever you find yourself today, you are able to find moments of happiness or calm. If you are struggling to find the good right now, I hope you find the courage to keep moving forward. I hope you realize that you are never alone. I hope you know, this too, will pass. I hope you know “some days are like that”.

Continue reading “The year we didn’t ask for…”

Rest for Struggle

For my entire life (that I can remember) I remember yearning for the normal, consistent, boring family. I remember watching TV shows thinking “I’m going to have that life some day”.

Welp, here I am: a house full of kids, blessed to be able to (mostly) stay home, a husband who adores me (there must be something wrong right?) and that I adore equally in return. I legit go to bed every night thanking God for giving me so much more than I deserve. These gifts are not lost on me.

I also recognized something else in my life though. There is no normal. We have been through many transitions in our 11 years of marriage. We married young, had babies young, adopted, had a failed adoption, and gone into foster care. That’s just in our immediate family! I’m not even including anything else coming from outside my house.

I started to get pretty confident that I’m a cool cucumber (is that a thing?) now. We’ve handled it all, there’s nothing new to stress about anymore. Then Covid happened. Then school enrollment happened. Who knew signing your kids up for school could lead to eye twitches? (Thanks stress).

But then I remembered something: this is my gift. This life. This family. This struggle. Guys-in this life I’m marching with my eyes set on something much bigger, better even. It doesn’t end with today’s problems, or even today’s blessings.

Every transition or change in life should be approached with one goal in mind- to glorify Christ. Am I trusting in Him? Not just with my decisions, but to sustain me after those choices are made. Do I believe that if I made a choice I regretted, that God will use it for His good regardless, if I’m looking to Him?

Because that’s the truth friends: God is the end all. The decisions you and I are facing may seem huge, even overwhelming, right now. But they are still temporary problems. While Covid and it’s repercussions may last longer than we’d like, and it may effect more areas of life than we’d like, eventually it will end. When it gets to be too much, remember what you’re marching towards- Who you will meet at the finish line. In the meantime, let’s give grace and love each other.

Sports are good thing. Sports aren’t every thing.

Some of my best memories from high school are from my time spent as an athlete.  I remember listening to Blue Clear Sky by George Strait religiously while riding with my best friend to softball practice.  I remember being so exhausted the weeks we had 2-a-days that all we could do was sleep in between.  I remember the accomplishment I felt once I got my spiking down in volleyball after staying late with a coach several days to work on it.  To this day, I love the feeling of complete exhaustion after a workout.

My husband was twice (and probably then some) the athlete I ever was.  To this day, his reflexes and how quickly he picks up almost any sport he tries still amazes me.  On our honeymoon we went to a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game.  Since we have been married we’ve played on coed softball teams and sand volleyball teams together.  We thoroughly enjoy sports.

So, for several reasons (many stated above) we want and even encourage our kids to take part in sports.  None of those reasons include them playing at a higher level or for them to be the super star of the team.  Now, it’s not that I don’t want them to succeed.  I do.  But more than the destination of “success” I want them to pay attention to the work and journey they will be on to get to that destination of success.

I want them to develop life long habits of being physically active.  I want them to know what it’s like to work hard at a skill in order to master it.  I want them to feel that feeling of accomplishment once they do master that skill.  I want them to feel the camaraderie that comes with being part of a team.

I do not, and will not, push collegiate or even professional level sports.  If my kids end up playing at that level, that’s fine and I will support them in every way possible if they do.  I do fear by constantly pushing that with all of our children, we have made a generation of “every one is a superstar” and forgotten that it is beneficial for kids to be just good athletes that support their team and help them where they can.  When we set up those kind of expectations for each child, we set them up for disappointment because not every one can be the all star.

Last point of this blog: if you really want to make sure your kid gets into college on scholarship push ACADEMICS! It’s really not even comparable the amount of academic scholarships you can get to the amount of athletic scholarships.